jealousy

dont get trouble just because an influencial feelings

sometimes heart gives you the best decision rather than your mind

but sometimes the decision made by heart

 leaves a deep wound in your heart

dont just because of jealousy

you lose your friend and love

true love

true love will never ask for you to change

true love will always accept your flaws and talents

true love will only accept you, only you and no one else

this is my definition about the true love, so how is your definition?

you decide , flashback your love experience

the true love for now is always be my family.

happy ever after

fairytales in reality seems to be totally different

because the future in still unanswered

if happy ever after did exist

my life would totally be wonderful

how i wish that happens :'(

im not ready to school yet

unfotunately, this is not a disneyland

who should start?

please,

dont make her the ones seeks for your love

you should start it first

show the gentleman in you,

thank you.

lil brother

Danial is now growing older and older

and i guess he is now ready 

to explore the world of knowledge in the pre school next year

he is such a bright and adorable kid i've met in my life

but it's a bit frustrating that

i hardly watched him develope and shine everyday 

since im getting to my boarding school so soon

i would miss the moment when he cut my hair without my knowledge

i would miss to tease him with some horror videos on youtube

i would miss the moment when he took our pictures together

i would miss his mischievious act

i would miss his soft kisses

i would miss his jokes

i would miss everything about him

keep continuing the family's legacy little brother

XOXO,

your sister 

REJECTED

i learn something today

it hurts and such heart killing

thanks for the experience

i could forget what you did to me,

but not how you made me feel inside

humiliation

people's curse wont get you anywhere

but to make the curse way more meaningful

believe me,

gather your strength to make it through the rain

get up from the fall

tell them you are bulletproof and have nothing to lose

tell them you survived the sufferings

because enemy hurts when they watches their rivals laugh

i believe in you

DESTINY

studying until you could fly and enjoy those enticing scenes

of the Cambridge University in United Kingdom

in my dreams,
i would be one of the Cambridge school girl
that proudly represents the nationality of her state
and the ones with scarf representing the purity of her religion

and i would always wish to have a relaxing stroll along

the United Kingdom walkway

having lots of rejoice moment all along

and have my way to visit the Ireland as well

since they are quite neighbour

i hope that what i am fighting for would be worth it

meeting a man with my choice too, maybe.

who knows?

either Ireland or United Kingdom

either pediatrician, psycologist or gynecologist

let me treasure the knowledge first

then i'll decide what's the best

in sha Allah :)

talking about BEAUTY

i had a one day outing with my old friends

they are all girls

they can't stick their sight away from lots of accessories sold 

along the walkway of the publika mall 

it was a bit tiring because im not into that

i realize how girls of my age really have the sense into dressing themseleves 

to look vogue and trendy

everyone has their own way of addressing their style

like me,

im strong and brute

but with a soft and sensitive heart

such as

kristen stewart in snow white and the huntsman

be yourself

because everyone is taken already

dont regret,

if you are not beautiful outside

people will always appreciate you for your beauty inside

full of life

same goes to life

life is meaningful when it is adventurous

and dull when it is too sweet

that's why every life has its ups and downs

and that's why people can't deny their laughters and tears

dont regret

when you think your life sucks

GOD is trying to put some adventurous element in it

believe me,

you will reap what you sow

benefits come from those who waits

SYAMIMIE :(

i thought that i knew her well

but unfortunately,

im wrong.

she is way more special than I thought before

she is my best friend ever since im in year 6

and she never fail to broad her smile with everyone

kind hearted, easy going, soft, stylish, girlish, courteous

she is full of virtue

 and is such one in a million

syamimie suhaili 

thanks for everything

and thanks for such a lovely journey together during my tough years

now, let's dont make our relationship a waste

altough it hurts to be seperated unwillingly

but i know deep inside your heart 

we will never be seperated further away

lol thats me :O

i really have to focus on my debate stuff right now

let me tell you that staying at home makes me feels like this!

it sucks that im stucked here

people, do give me some motivation  D:

i need the spirit now.

2012

there are about 8 days to go before new year

2012 is about to come to an end

thank god that i've done my best

this year,

i identified the ones who still stick on me when im in trouble

and the ones who will run away when they believe i can't bring any benefit to them

it's still the best for me to have both of these kind

because

at least, i know that nothing lasts forever

everything changes for no reason

we can't expect our friends to stay forever

and 

we will never know that one day our enemy would be our best friend

may next year would be better and brighter 

what makes people dont go for LOVE

i believe that this is totally true

it's true how boys really look like a sweet talker

it's true how girl easily get melted

dont play with girls' heart

or

you might lose her forever

and why did some girls act like that ?

because she doesn't wanna look cheap like other girls did

because she wanna look different and special in your eyes

MUM and DAD

i love my mum and my dad

they read my blogposts few days ago

just to update themselves about my condition

im pleased that they concern about me

the most exquisite about my mother is that

i can't lie her

she would always detect me when something goes wrong

i remembered that she used to hear my puppy love story when im in year 6 

and she even supported me for that

she always makes me feel grateful of who i am

she always has the trust on me

she always put on her full concern on me and will never neglect me

she sacrificed everything for me

she always makes me looks like this

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and my father

he is full of paternal nature

he is always a good advisor

he is there when everyone is in bad mood

he never fail to make us laugh

he is good in making decision

he is full of patient but when he mads he really mean that

he doesn't like to cook but when he cooks he defeated my mum's

he is always determine in what he does

both mum and dad

thanks for everything :D

i proved you that you trained me well

i got 8A's for you guys

oh my, im wrong!

next year would be a really tough year

and i never assume that as honeymoon year

debate, PMC and studies

together with addmaths,biology,physics and chemistry

future is always a mystery

sometimes we expected it to be good all the way,

but it turns up to extremely horrible

and i hope this wont happen :(

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FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION

when i said yes

and 

they said no

in some circumstances
there will be no one right and no one wrong

because everyone has their own

opinion which they think they are right

 and those who are neutral

you need to think double

the pros and cons

pervert boys -____-

keep our pride up high

i can live without depending on any boys

im strong and they are not

can you see the difference ?

i hope you can.

boys and girls,

it's just not the time yet

doomsday O.O

the mayans have given lots of expectations

but they failed

they even postponed the doomsday

hey,

im breathing right now.

now let see how Allah proves that they are wrong.

my faith is still strong and firm

i believe in Allah

when the time comes, there are no turning back

appreciate every moment you live

appreciate every second you breathe

my heart has keep on pumping for 15 years without stop

and i love how Allah shows His power

TRUTH

which one should be prioritised ?

the truth or people's feelings ?

i rather choose the truth

not that im letting people around me to get offended

because i believe

when you lied something that hurts

you end up hurting people double

they hurt because it hurts

they hurt again because you lied at the same time

short :DD

the easiest way to define me

'the shortest ones'

but still

im proud of being short

being short doesn't mean you are not respected

know why?

when everytime people wish to talk to you 

they have to bow and look into your face

and every inch of bow is an honour

so,

stand proud and short

there are still hopes

as i discover,

getting A's in UPSR is actually nothing.

it's just an iniciative to ensure that we have the quality in all our studies

the same goes to PMR

to those who thinks they failed,

to those who thinks they do not deserve,

to those who thinks they are crap,

to those who thinks they are fool,

sincerely i tell you that you are wrong.

you are wrong for being wrong.

i love you as always.

let me clarify you that

our intelligence will never be defined through grades

God knows the reasons behind those grieve

either He wants you to keep on struggling

or He decide something better or brighter.

XOXO

dont stop living. there's long way to go

undefined by words

as i had my first step at the lobby

i just cant describe how i felt

i just afford to have a fake smile when instead

my heart and my mind

had to bear a total insecure

whether are my struggle all this while paid off ?

faking smiles 

and im feel even burdened when some of my friends

have got their results through the sms

i just worried and happy, i dont know

it is mixed all together

some of them shouted without caring anymore what's happening and who are around them

one of them is Nadia Hanum.

and she's my bestie.

im glad and together feel relieved

but now,

im feeling like breathing again

Alhamdulillah, i managed to get the 8A's

and these smiles are the real ones.

world of fame

i just thinking about the famous people few minutes backthen

when someone getting famous due to any sort of reasons

being the public figure of what and how they deed before

and now getting bombarded with such praises and compliments

and at this point,

 they might discover that

their enemy now becoming a friend

their haters now becoming lovers

their traitor now becoming a supporter

how fake are all of them 

as if trying to share your popularity?

but somehow and sometimes

this situation might get them

distance from being original

because every inch of their act might be observed and criticised

well you know,

people never stick away from stigmas and perspectives

but i tell you, 

that these people actually have choices.

either to be themselves or duplicating their idol.

just be yourselves, everyone is taken already.

whatever,

i conceed to the facts that people change

nothing lasts forever

our struggle.

it's already tuesday today

and guess what?

tomorrow i will be receiving my results

i still remember the moments 

when i stayed up all night to burn the midnight oil

when i stucked in KH hard question twice and i cried my heart out

when i sacrificed my leisure time and decided to study more

when i sacrificed my overnight just to face the book all day long

when everyone addresses me and they said that i look horribly stressed

when i realised an eye bag on my face making me look like a panda

now i tell you,

that i survived that for one year

and i hope that my struggle worth it

i know that i will be seeing many scenes as the results once released.

at first, everyone will act like this,

and i prayed that everyone will end up their struggle

with a smile of satisfaction.

wish us all the best for our PMR results

i believe, 

He had planned the best.

still not enough?

sometimes we feel unappreciated whereas we dont notice the people that really appreciate us

sometimes we feel insecure whereas there are many people loving us

sometimes we feel jerk whereas they assumed that it was an intimate jokes ever

sometimes we feel like losing confidence whereas they are making us one of their idol

why?why?why?

why are you feeling down on yourself?

is it still not enough?

put yourself at anyone's shoe

they might be either 

way more fortunate 

or 

way more worse than you.

then, why cant you be grateful of what you have now?

long time no see!

we spent our whale time together cooking that day

and it was such a total awesome

i thought that we would be awkward

as we meet after 3 years of discord

but guess what!

there is no such thing as awkward

and everything started when we looked at each other and laughed like hell

those 3 years are not short

and i see changes in them

so do the others

i heard lots of stories and gossips

the way they express the feelings were always the same as before

nothing much changed

their jokes and gossips are stereotype to me

im used and being pleasant with their way

i love them,

i love my past and i love my present

but i will always wondering of my future.

let it be a secret.

XOXO